Saving a Relationship

Being is single is great. You have the time to explore, get to know other people and form ideals. When a person is single and has never been in a relationship, the kind of thinking when it comes to relationships is different. It revolves about the right thing and the wrong thing. Not until a person gets into a relationship does he realize that more often than not, it is not about the point of being right. It would have to be about the feelings of the other person that you feel deeply for.

Being in a relationship opens up a whole new perspective when it comes to sharing your life with another. Your personal space is lessened for a fact. The things that you do alone normally change dramatically for it could be that you would be sharing it with another person, or it would have to be readjusted to compromise to the other’s interest.

People enter  a relationship with a bag full of expectations and hopes. Secret demands are expected from the individuals involved. Normally, when these expectations and demands are met it seems to be the happy story. However, then the truly endearing relationship is nurtured on a different basis.

When a relationship is in its infancy, conflicts are expected. Definitely, you are two very different people. You have different values, attitudes, personalities and were raised differently.  Especially for the first timers the happiness depends on what is received. Relationship based on this principle is bound to get tired and could be fleeting.

A relationship should be based on feeling joyful, even if expectations are not met and, even if situations are difficult. This may sound too idealistic, but it is the most sensible decision to make if you wish to keep a positive relationship. This kind of attitude is a choice. When you decide to love someone, it should not end with the feeling. It should be worked upon..

When you are in a relationship, you want everything to be perfect. You want your partner to live up to what you have been imagining to be. With the person closest to you, it is so easy to find faults. It is so easy to find faults in their actions and put the blames on their attitudes. We have to remember that you cannot control anybody but yourself. So instead of putting the blame on the other person, try to ponder on how you reacted and manifested your feelings when the situation is not good. The individuals should be open-minded and accept that the other person has the right to express himself and be himself. The expectations of how the other person should react, usually get in the way and dim our better judgment.

It is also very important to practice true giving. Giving wholeheartedly without expecting back is important. Giving should be about the other person. It should be about making the other feel good and not about expecting something more.

Listening is also very helpful. People in general want to be heard and valued. It is best to stop commenting and criticizing about the other when in conflict. Listen and try to understand where he is coming from. Eventually, resentment would dissipate when people are being listened to.

Acceptance is also very essential. Wanting to change the other person could not just hinder his growth but also affect the way he sees himself. He could feel inadequate and could affect his behavior towards a relationship. Loving someone is about accepting someone for who he is and definitely for whom he is not. We have to understand the fact that each of us is placed here on earth not to make others happy but to develop into their own self. Acceptance and respect for whoever the person has become is very important.

In relationships, patience is a must. Patience towards one another is one important factor that everyone  has to learn.

A relationship should have room for each other to grow, to develop deeply the respect and love for each other. Apart from that, a relationship is worked on. Feelings are involved, yes, but the commitment to make it work definitely is a choice.